I Don’t Even Know What’s Going On

Confession: I had no idea the VMAs was this weekend. (but even if I did know, I still wouldn't have watched it)

I miss certain things about having cable: The Golden Girls reruns on the Hallmark channel, watching the news in the morning for weather updates, flipping through channels until I find something worth watching.

But I don’t miss the bill.  Kevin and I watch about an hour to two hours of TV on most days, so paying for cable isn’t worth it for us.

After being without cable for 6+ months, I’m starting to realize how much I relied on TV for updates.

I never know when new movies are coming out. I never know what new sitcom everyone is excitedly waiting to premier.

If you ask me what I think about the hurricane that just formed, I’d say, “OMG! There’s a hurricane?! Is it going to hit Texas?!”

When people are like, “Have you seen that new hilarious commercial where the guy does this and then the girl does this and then this squirrel is all like...” And I cut them off and say, “Whoa. I haven’t seen a commercial in over six months!!” (That’s a lie. I watch cable when I’m at my parents’ house.)

I have no idea what’s really going on unless I see a post on Facebook or Instagram.

I read the news sometimes (when I’m bored at work), but they don’t fill me in on everything that I’ve missed since I cut cable. They don’t tell me about the new movie that is on everyone’s must see list. They don’t tell me about what’s going on with Teen Mom people or if there is even a Teen Mom show anymore.

You know, like the important things that I must know.

But on a serious note… it really is amazing how much I relied on TV to get updates about what’s going on in this world. I now get most of my updates through Facebook and most of those updates are animal videos. Not that I’m complaining. But I would like to know that there’s a hurricane possibly coming to the gulf before it actually hits my house. 

Things I’ve Started but Never Finished

Fifty Shades of Grey Series – A drunk lady once talked to me for about 10 minutes about how wonderful the series is and how I must read it. Her husband kept rolling his eyes, which lead to them arguing about the books. He kept saying it’s about a man being too powerful, while she was adamant that it was the woman who was powerful. I think I read two chapters, so honestly I didn’t even get too far into the story to tell if I would like it or not.

Pretty Much Every Bucket List I’ve Ever Created – I am the queen of coming up with bucket lists per year (or sometimes per month) and never finishing them. I get about half way through them and then entirely forget their existence.

Almost Every Squat Challenge – I think I’ve tried doing a few of these. I make it about two weeks and then get bored. When you’re doing 50 squats in a row, going up and down and up and down, how could you not get bored??

Freshman Year Volleyball – I played the entire season and then when the off season came I decided hell no. The off season was too intense and too hot. It should be illegal to make kids run miles outside when it’s over 105 degrees outside.

Twilight Series – I was obsessed with these books when they first became popular. I was in high school and pretty much 95% of the girls in the school were reading the series. I read all of them until the final book. Why? Because I finished all the other books before that final book was published. I think I had to wait over a year for it, and I just didn’t care about the story anymore after waiting that long.

What are some things you've started and never finished? 

Hello! A Little Life Update

I have been super busy lately which is why I've been a no-show to blog land. I usually try to find time to write once a day, but these days just seem to soar right on by.

But anyway, guess what I did! I hate when people ask me to guess what because I'll probably never, ever guess the actual answer.

I quit my job. I’m still not 100% sure how I feel about the transition. Although I’m excited to start my new job in two weeks, it’s always nerve-racking to leave a comfort zone and go into a new one.

A week ago, Kevin also quit his job! Talk about a coincidence. With the job market how it is, it feels crazy that we both had job offers a week apart from each other!

So what's next? We are both going to be on different schedules than what we were on at our old jobs. That means the dogs have to get used to a new schedule too. Hopefully we all transition smoothly into this next adventure!

I'll be sure to come back & tell you all more details.

I didn’t mean to take a break from blog land… I need to start setting aside time to write blog posts. I usually write during the work day (shhh), but I’m not sure if that will be possible anymore.

What a Kardashian Taught Me About Being Thankful

MTV.com

I wonder if Kylie Jenner understands how lucky she is. I use the word "lucky" loosely because I'm not even sure if she is really lucky. I just can't find another adjective.

Does she know how rare it is to get a $320,000 car for a birthday present? With the price of that car, I could buy a decent house in the neighborhood I want. With the price of that car, I could pay off my car, student loans, Kevin's car, and Kevin's student loans, and still have enough left over to go on a ton of great vacations and put a down payment on a house and put money towards a future kid's tuition.

When I went on vacation in Hawaii, I soaked up every ray of sun I could. I looked out the car windows constantly. I explored. I took in as many details as my brain would allow. But I also wondered if people who live there understood how great of a place it is.

Do they wake up each morning, open the blinds, and feel lucky to be there? Or is the beach such a part of their regular routine that they don't even think about being lucky?

Do they breathe in the ocean air like I did, realizing that my time there was precious because my plane was leaving in a few days? Or, do they let those little things pass by because they don't think their time there is limited because they live there full-time?

Kylie may not see how lucky she is because it may be all she knows. She grew up in a wealthy family with a lot of opportunities (and cameras and drama). & as far as I know, she's always been surrounded by wealthy friends and family.

I take my city for granted. I rarely wake up and think, "Wow! I'm in Houston. This is great!!" because I'm used to being here. This is my home. But, people who are visiting on vacation, sometimes they say how great Houston is and how lucky I am to be here all the time.

Am I lucky? I guess so. I am alive after all.

It's like when I go to California and tell people they're lucky to be there. They look at me and probably think, "Lucky? I'd rather be in the Bahamas" or somewhere they think is nicer.

Our opinions are based on our lives, our experiences, our pasts. I'm sure there are a few people in Hawaii who are even wishing they could be somewhere else.

So I wonder if Kylie ever thinks she's lucky that she's able to buy a mansion and Hermes bag. Or, does she think about it the way I think about Houston? A lot of people love Houston, but I forget to love this city – because I’m so familiar with it. I’ve been here almost my entire life.

Does Kylie forget to be thankful because she grew up rich all her life, and being able to buy a mansion and travel the world is just the life she's always known?

**Note: I used Kylie Jenner as an example because I saw someone post that her boyfriend bought her a really expensive car. I really have no idea if she feels thankful or not. And, no, I don't keep up with the Kardashians.  But I do know that before her birthday she actually went to a Children's Hospital with care packages and donations. **

The I Wants

When I was in high school and would tell my parents, "I want this and this and this..." they'd tell me I have a case of the I Wants. The I Wants went away for a few years, but it's a sneaky little thing that pops up when you compare yourself to others and what others have.

I'm sad to say that I have the case of the I Wants right now.

I want...

new work clothes.
my student loans to disappear.
a house with a big yard.
a king sized bed.
to be able to go out to eat however many times a month I want.
a fancy, fast car.
nice furniture.
a long vacation exploring a country.
a living room big enough for a real Christmas tree.
to be able to buy myself jewelry or clothes whenever I see something I like.

It's easy to get caught in the comparison game. 

My coworkers go out to eat every lunch, and I'm here eating leftovers. I'm staying at my parents' house with their nice furniture and huge bed, and I want it. My friends talk about buying themselves clothes and going shopping. Kevin's mom is on a super long vacation in Europe.  I hear people who don't have student loans talking about their lifestyles, and I'm here paying almost a full paycheck each month to my student debt. I drive by houses with For Sale signs, and I wish that I could even have a small chance of buying it.

The comparison game and having the I Wants is dangerous. If you let yourself get wrapped around what everyone else has and what you're missing, you forget to focus on what you do have.

I have...

Supporting family & friends.
A reliable job.
A degree from a great University.
A reliable and new-ish car that gets me where I need to go.
Enough money to buy groceries, gas, and necessary items each month.
Fun money to go out to eat a few times a month.
A wonderful boyfriend.
A place I can call home that has water, electricity, air conditioning.
Two beautiful puppies who keep me entertained.
All the electronics I need, plus some (TV, computer, laptop, iPad, iPhone, camera)

Even though there are a lot of things I want, I have a lot more things that I'm grateful for. I know some people who have the nice cars, but they don't have a supporting family. I know others who go shopping and buy everything they want, yet they have thousands of dollars of debt.

I know, compared to most people in the world, I am lucky. A lot of people don't even have a place that they can call home.

Dreaming & Wishing & Hoping

Kevin & I hunted for houses earlier this year because we dreaded living in another apartment. We never purchased anything, and we ran out of time to keep looking. Our budget was tight and low considering the city we call home. The houses we did see were mostly foreclosures full of leaks, mold, holes in the walls, nasty carpet. Houses no one wanted.

The only houses we saw that were worth moving into sold within a day or two, giving us no chance to really submit an offer. I stalked real estate listings each hour. One morning I found a newly listed home, so I called the realtor and he booked an appointment for us to see it that day at noon. When noon rolled around, the realtor called to tell me the sellers already have 4 offers and there really isn't any point to go look since I would be 5th in line (meaning all the people before me would have to back out).

That's how fast things were (and possibly still are) moving here.

I'm happy we didn't end up buying a house though because we were looking in a part of town we don't really want to be in. The neighborhood was great, but it was a suburb outside of city limits and traffic going that direction is an absolute nightmare.

Just for giggles, I decided to look at houses online yesterday just to see what was out there. I found a perfect house for us. It even has a pool!

The catch? It's about $400,000 out of budget.

A girl can dream...

The Power of Makeup

It takes me only a couple of minutes to put on make up. I wear 4 items (an eye shadow base, eye shadow on top of the base, mascara, and eyeliner). Five items if you count my non-tinted moisturizer.

I'm sure I would look better if I wore foundation (I have red marks, acne scars, and dark circles under my eyes that could be covered), but I just don't want to because 1) I don't really know how to put make up on and 2) I'm trying to cure my acne and I don't want to clog my pores with foundation, blush, and concealer.

It's been a year and a half since I had my terrible break out, and I'm still trying to heal my skin. For the first year, I hated the way I looked. Sometimes I still get really upset with my face (I say I look like I have chicken pox), but most days I've accepted it and realized how great I look compared to when I first had my bad breakout/allergic reaction from switching products.

My point is: I don't wear make up that hides anything, except for the eye shadow (it hides the purple-blue veins that you can see through my thin eyelids). When I take off my eye makeup, I pretty much look the same except my eyes are less defined because I don't have my mascara or eyeliner on.

Now to my point...

Have you ever seen Wife Swap? Years ago there was an episode with one wife whose husband has never seen her without make up. Ever.

How does this happen? Does she sleep in a full face of make up every night and then wash her face and put a new layer of make up on before her husband wakes up? Do they not go swimming or take showers together? Does she never get sick with the flu and have no energy to waste on applying make up?

I cannot imagine putting that much effort into make up or wearing make up every second of every day.

Most importantly, I cannot imagine being married to someone who wouldn't want to see me without make up. Or someone who would want me to wear make up every day because he thinks I look better with make up on than I do natural. What the hell is that?

Then you have people like this jerk who sues his new wife because she looks really different without make up on.  What the hell is wrong with you?

But really, I can't understand how you even date someone/live with someone/get married to someone and they never see you without make up on. How is that even possible?

But let's not just blame this only on guys. There are plenty of women who choose not to let their husbands ever see them without make up. Some worry their husband won't find them as attractive, but others say they do it because it shows how much they love their husbands.

‘On our first date, Carlton said he loved the effort I put into my appearance,’ says Susan. ‘It’s not an effort to make myself look perfect for him, it’s a privilege. It’s a way of showing how much I care about him and making him believe I’m the most beautiful creature to grace the Earth. Carlton has never seen me without make-up — and he never will.’ Source
Do you know how I show Kevin I love him? I cook him dinner or dessert. I dress up in a cute dress when we go on dates. I show interest in his hobbies. We talk and watch  movies and dance.

But I don't wear make up (or even nice clothes) 95% of the time that we are together. When he gets home from work, I'm usually in pajamas or a ratty old t-shirt. Because, hello, I want to be comfortable after a 9 hour work day.

But does he care? No. Because he loves me with & without make up. In sweats & in a black dress.

Would you wear make up 24/7 if your boyfriend/husband asked you to? And, if your boyfriend/husband did ask that of you, would you consider breaking up with him?