When I Grow Up

I try to push myself to grow, but I’m terrible at keeping goals. I’m the type of person who says I’m going to work out and then weeks – or months—pass before I find myself in the gym. I’m the type of person who makes bucket lists and then gets bored with them or just forgets that they exist. I’m not a quitter; I am just lazy perhaps? Or I find other things that motivate me besides going to the gym or crossing an item off a list.

I’m the type of person who likes to take advantage of every day. I like making plans, meeting people, going on adventures, traveling. I love trying new things and making memories that last a lifetime. I like parties and social gatherings and people watching.

Me. 1990 something.

I always wanted to be a mom at a young age because my parents were young when they had me and my sister. I loved growing up with young parents. For the longest time, my goal was to be married at 21 and a mom at 22 or 23. Crazy, right? I guess you could say I was on that path until I broke up with my college sweetheart and found myself single for two years.

I’m now 25. Not married. And I don’t have any kids. I don’t want any kids.

The thing with coming up with goals for when you’re gown up? They always change because you always change.

I don’t know where my life will take me over the next 5 years even. Will I be living in a different state? Will I be a mom? Will I be married? I hope so.

I can’t come up with what I want to be when I’m grown up because I change all the time as I grow and learn and evolve. I change as the circumstances in my life change.

So, I will say what I hope for my future:

I hope that I am confident and carefree. I hope that I stay motivated and honest. I hope that I’m growing old with Kevin and my friends & family. I hope that I am having fun going on adventures and seeing the world. I hope that we still spend the holidays with our families.

I hope that I’m a mom. I hope that I still enjoy grocery shopping on Sunday mornings.

I hope that I love and that I am loved. 

I hope that I don’t take being alive for granted.