Monday, July 20, 2015

"Life is Short. Have an Affair."




There are about 37 million users on Ashley Madison, a dating website for married people. Yes, you read that correctly.  People join Ashley Madison to find someone they can cheat on their husband or wife with. Isn't that romantic?

Cheating is getting easier and easier. All it takes is one "connection" on a social media account. What may start off as innocent talking turns into maybe innocent flirting... eventually leads to an emotional connection with that person.

What may be silly snapchats turns into long conversations.. turns into inappropriate snapchats.

I'm not saying this always happens, but it can happen.

My grandparent's friends in Missouri were married for over 25 years. They always seemed incredibly happy together until a few years ago when my grandmother told me they divorced. The husband was talking to this lady over Facebook. Flirting online, making that emotional connection, spending hours messaging her. He left his family, even moved states, to be with that other woman.

When people ask me about online dating, I always mention that a lot of people who do online dating don't care too much if it doesn't work out with one particular person because they know there are other options just a click away. If you had one bad date, you get over it and chat with the next person on your matches. It's easy.

And I guess that's what this Ashley Madison website does too. It lets you say, "Ok. I'm unhappy with my wife. I want to cheat." and instead of having to go to a bar and putting much effort into it, you just go to the website and there are 37 million users for you to pick from.

It's like people are becoming easier and easier to replace. 

I wish the creators of Ashley Madison spent their energy on helping relationships stay alive or providing therapy through divorces or whatever. I wish they didn't think it was cool to help people cheat on their spouses. I wish they weren't making a shit ton of money by encouraging people to cheat instead of talk or just simply end the relationship.

Their slogan is "Life is short. Have an affair." Really?! 

I've been cheated on in my past and it's not fun. You think about your boyfriend with someone else but then, and probably what hurts the most, you think about the betrayal and how long he was lying to you. How many times did you kiss me and pretend to love me, when really you were kissing her and loving her too? How many times did you lie to my face about us? How many dates did we go on where I thought everything was wonderful, but you were probably thinking about her?

I just can't stand cheaters. I would rather be completely blindsided and dumped than hear someone say, "I've been cheating on you for 3 months."

** End Monday Rant **

I still believe in love. Two people can be happily married for life. Relationships are sometimes work, but that work is worth it when you really love the person you are with.

(& to be clear, Kevin and I are fine. I was talking about an ex from high school).

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