Thirteen Ninety Eight: Am I a Houstonian?

I recently came across this article called 24 Things YouNeed to Do Before You’re Officially a Houstonian. I am born & raised in Houston and haven’t lived anywhere else besides when I went off to college. I usually don’t read articles like this, but I was curious to see if I’m an official Houstonian or if I’m just a fake Houstonian, since I guess being born & raised in Houston is just not enough anymore.

Let’s see.

1. Have a favorite tequila. Nope

2. Figure out how to pronounce Kuykendahl. This I learned years & years ago. It’s pronounced kirk-in-doll.

3. Start to actually kind hate Dallas. I’m not sure where this rivalry comes from. Dallas is actually pretty fun from what I know, and I actually want to go back again.

4. Eat two or more unnecessary deep-fried foodstuffs at the Rodeo. Yes. This one is easy. Although I don’t do it anymore because I’m not willing to spend $10 on a fried oreo.

5. Correct someone that puts the period in Dr Pepper (so it reads as Dr. Pepper). I actually have no idea this was an issue? Why wouldn’t someone put the period after Dr?

6. Get a sunburn just from walking your dog. Hah! Yes, I tend to get sunburns at the dog park if we are there too long.

7. Wait 3 weeks to get a reservation at Uchi. Shit, do I look like I can afford a restaurant that has to take reservations that much in advance? I don’t think so.

8. Get yourself into a tent at the world’s championship bbq cook off. Yes. Multiple times. And it is always fun!

9. Develop an intense addiction to Buc-ee’s. The only reason I go to Buc-ee’s is if I need to make a pitstop on the way to Austin.

10. Know when it's crawfish season, oyster season, and lovebug season. Yuck. I don’t eat any of those things, but I do know when crawfish season is because everyone starts having parties.

11. Have a fiercely strong opinion about the city’s best breakfast taco. No on this one either.. I don’t eat breakfast tacos.

12. Submit to the fact that rush-hour traffic is happening. I got over traffic when I started to drive at 16 years old. Fortunately I live close to work and don’t have to even take a freeway to get home.

13. Know what’s coming up during the seventh-inning stretch (besides a BBQ-stuffed potato). Yep! I’m actually going to a baseball game tomorrow!

14. Truly experience Screwston. I can’t believe people still refer to Houston as Screwston. I haven’t really heard this term since I hung out with rap-lovers in high school. I was one of those lovers of rap, by the way! From Wikipedia: "Screwston" is a popular modern nickname for the city of Houston.^[29] Although it is not an official nickname, it is widely known by fans of localhip-hop artist DJ Screw and his style of music, known as "chopped and screwed".^[30]

15. Include H Mart and Fiesta on your list of preferred grocery stores. I used to go shopping at Fiesta all the time, but not anymore. I went to H Mart once (it’s an Asian grocery store). I would probably go more often but there’s only like one in the entire city and it’s not near me.

16. Barely survive the night in Midtown. Do not even get me started. I haven’t been to Midtown since December 2014 because it is just too much for me to handle anymore. But, my friend is having her birthday party there on Saturday. Wish me luck! Midtown is an extremely popular, crowded, frat and sorority filled area of bars in downtown. A lot of the crowd is really conceited and it feels like your back in high school with so many cliques. Other than that, the bars are overpriced or the bouncers are rude. One time they wouldn’t let my friend in a bar because he had on white shoes (like converse). Really?!

17. Dine at (at least) three different locations of Pappadeaux. Pappadeaux is a big-time seafood chain here. I’ve only been to two locations because, again, I don’t eat seafood. Now if this was about the Mexican food (Pappasitos (same owner)) I would gladly say I’ve been to pretty much every location!

18. Succumb to the fact that you’re not going to walk “there”. I don’t walk anywhere but to my mailbox and back.

19. Complain about gentrification. Nah.. I don’t really care that much.

20. Have a good hurricane/tropical storm/flood story. Oh yes. You mean like my story from a few weeks ago where I almost died trying to leave my parents’ house during the storm?

21. Get accustomed to showing up to work with crack sweat. Umm.. no. I have AC in my car, thank god.

22. Instagram a photo of the skyline from Eleanor Tinsley Park. This hasn’t happened yet, but I have taken a few skyline photos from the tops of parking garages.